Welcome to (Deadly) Australia

Previously published as: Hart, G. 2023. Welcome to (Deadly) Australia. Black Hare Press drabble contest. https://www.blackharepress.com/welcome-to-deadly-australia/

Welcome to Oz! Good on you for ignoring the slander that everything’s out to kill ya. Funnelweb spiders? Easily avoided. Keep feet and fingers out of dark, enclosed spaces, like bedsheets. (Kidding! They almost never infest bedsheets. Almost.) Don’t fret over copperheads either; taipan’s more likely to do for ya. Don’t step on anything long, thin, and brown and you’ll be right, mate. Blue-ringed octopus? They never come ashore to hunt humans; they’re too worried about the taipans and spiders. And the salties? They’re real. If you don’t see any Aussies swimming, don’t dip a toe. Nasty buggers, those crocs.

Author's note

Drabbles are stories that must be exactly 100 words long. This one was published as part of a drabble competition that focused on Australia. Thanks to Matt Stevens for an Australian reality check.

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